I don’t follow politics as much as I should, so when trying to wrap my head around it I often relate it to things I have a much better understanding of. Here’s my interpretation of Senator Arlen Spector’s defection from Republican to Democrat:

 It was quite a scene the other night as the Senate met for a sold out crowd at New York’s historic Madison Square Garden. Crowds from all sides held up signs some with jeers like; “McCain in the Ass” and “Biden’s Nuts!” but all in all it was a calm and everyone ready for a entertaining night of good ole fashion politicking.
 
Everyone was pumped for the night, but nobody was expecting the curveball Senator “The Spectacular” Arlen Spector had coming later that evening. During a Lumberjack Match between Harry Reid “My Fists” and Mitch “Machismo” McConnell, Spector interceded with a hand full of salt apparently blinding McConnell by accident.
 
After the match as Machismo verbally berated Spector in front of a sold out crowd slapping him across the face, then turned to walk away. As he did Spector became enraged and locked in his famous “Spectator” sleeper hold. As the rest of the G.O.P. attempted to stomp Spector off “Mad Man” Biden lowered from the rafters wearing his face war paint and proceeded to save Spector with the help of his Louisville Slugger.

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I was watching TV (as I’m known to do on occasion) and I saw commercial for the Schick Quattro For Women Trimstyle. For those of you who don’t know what it is it a razor that also has a trimmer on the other end of it. Now while this is marketed for Men as a beard trimmer, when marketed to women they call it a “bikini trimmer”.

(The actual hedge and bush trimming in the commercials as empowered attractive women walk by is hysterical watch it again incase you missed it)

While I’m all for bikini trimming, it just made me think how far we have come and what television is willing to advertise now. Not to sound old but I remember when the first condom commercial aired on TV, or at least I remember it being controversial if I didn’t exactly see it. Which according to the internets was in 1991 by the Fox Network. Since then Condom ads are pretty common although Fox, the ones who broke the original barrier (no pun intended), recently opposed a commercial by Trojan for thier “Evolve” campaign depicting men as pigs, unless they are willing to use a condom. Fox opposed this commercial because they say it had nothing to do with the health benefits of condoms. I can’t help but think it also has something to do with the fact that since 1991 they’ve created a niche market as the voice of Conservative America (see Also Fox News).; More can be read on that particular commercial here in a NY Times Article

and the commercial can be seen here;
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I was recently reading the book “Motherless Brooklyn” by Jonathan Lethem. It’s a great book that I highly recommend, but that’s not the point of this entry. During the course of the book some of the characters mention radio ads on during a Mets game for Garden State Brick Face and Stucco. This brought back a lot of memories to me.

As a kid I’d watch obscene amounts of TV and before we got wired for cable this meant watching a lot of WNYW and WPIX the two local independent stations (which later became Fox and WB/CW respectively). So on the joyous days I was home sick from school, or just had presidents day off I’d sit around in my Ghostbusters jammies and watch I Love Lucy reruns. During which they would always advertise Garden State Brick Face and Stucco. Reading those words elicited a warm feeling in me of more carefree times. [Read more →]

Every summer the Big Movie releases have endorsements and tie-ins. My favorite of all time was probably 711 remodeling a bunch of their stores to look like Qwik E Marts for the Simpson’s movie. The lamest was probably the “Dark Knight Pizza” from Papa Johns with Extra pepperoni to make the pizza darker (I’m not kidding).

This year of course has similar tie-ins Terminator: Salvation has a tie-in with 711 for an “Apocalyptic Ice” Slurpee (not a joke either, that’s real). X-Men Origins: Wolverine had a Papa John’s Pizza tie-in with “X-tra Cheese”. But what comes next? There are quite a few movies coming out this summer ripe for tie-ins like:

The Angels and Demons Pizza Hut “Papal Pizza” with extra Mushrooms and Pepperoni

Where the Wild Things Are and Duracell batteries in child locators

Drag Me to Hell and Verizon Wireless; “Can You Hear Me Now?” “Yes” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH”

Inglorious Bastards 711 tie-in with a “Bastardly Berry” Slurpee

Public Enemies Orbitz flavor “Tommy Gum” mmm taste the gun oil and whiskey

Year One giant “Mammoth Burger” from Burger King (this one sounds like it could be legit)

and of course

2012 “End of the World” Sandwich “7 layers of bacon and cheese wrapped in roast beef and served in a bucket of ranch dressing”.

I should work in Movie Marketing I’m a Genius!!

Apparently I am the only person who never knows where those

wacky photos come from that get emailed around everywhere. If YOU are also one of those “ONLY” people, than

you can find those photos at the site below, email them to all your friends and look like you are the original, cool, one.

http://www.funpic.hu/en.index.php

Here is one just in time for summer, care of my cousin in France, Delphine. I’m sure those guys were hanging around watching an episode of MTV Cribs and thought - “We can watch movies in our pool, too!”:

We all have our favorite movies; some of us love these movies so much that we can’t let go. I am one of those people. To deal with my inability to deal with letting go of my favorite characters and stories I’m creating a reoccurring feature here called “Sequels that don’t exist, YET”

The first of these soon to be theatrical gems is “Back to the Future IV; The Future is Now!” directed by Darren Aronofsky produced by Michael Bay [Read more →]

So everyone is concerned about swine flu and such, but I really think this a great opportunity to make Great Television people!When the inevitable zombie outbreak happens due to the swine flu I’m going to create and star in a new reality series for VH1 called “Apocalypse of Love”

I’m going to live in a specially fortified commune hidden deep in Alaska with 14 sexy ladies. These ladies will compete for permanent residency within the commune walls. These women will be from diverse backgrounds and all bring unique skills to the table. They will include; a doctor, farmer, athlete, mechanic, Mensa member, carpenter, painter/poet, solider and of course six drunken party girls. They will compete in numerous challenges like creating a melee weapon from household items, making pizza from scratch, fixing generators, and of course an obstacle course. [Read more →]

From the people that brought you Legally Blonde The Musical, Legally Blonde 2 The Muscial Red White and Blonde and Legally Blonde 3 The Musical Blonde to Be Wild comes..

Independence Day the Musical;

Scene: A backyard BBQ in Brooklynn

We’ve come together to enjoy a July 4th BBQ

We’ll eat forever and enjoy ourselves a few brews

bang bang bop shu bop shu ::Record Scratches:: …..

What the Hell is that?

Theres something in the sky, There’s something in the sky!

Its definately not a bird or a plane, are we going to die?

The sky is on fire, it must be an attack

You all are way off track, Its probably natural event

Natural? Thats how the dinosaurs went.

The News says DC and LA all have them Moscow too

Its a scary situation I don’t know what to do…

::Ship reveals itself from cloud of fire and the BBQ attendees scatter yelling.::

So far we have cast Sisqo of “The Thong Song” fame as Captain Steven Hiller (played in the movie by Will Smith) and American Idol’s Bo Bice as David Levinson (played in the movie by Jeff Goldblum)

Stay Tuned people for more musical numbers and more casting news!

When I was little, kids used to think my hair was funny. It stuck out in a halo around my head. It wasn’t quite like rudy’s or quite like punky’s. It strangely resembled that of those cabbage patch kids with the moldable corkscrew hairdoes (OH, I’m going way back). I was neither here nor there. In short, I was a Zorse, and sometimes I just felt better mosey-ing around the pasture by myself:

Anyone?